


Castaway

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Thor (Marvel), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Gaslighting, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Violence, Omega Steve Rogers, Pregnant Steve Rogers, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-16 12:30:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Steve disappeared two days before his and Thor's wedding with no trace and no one could see or find out where he was taken. Now, Steve had to try surviving as a wandering and homeless pregnant omega in an unknown place, while Thor had to deal with being unable to help his mate when Steve needed him the most.





	1. Trying to survive

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Captain America: Castaway in Dimension Z where Steve became a castaway in a Dimension created by Zola and had to survive there while taking care of a child. It was a pretty sad comics and somehow at one point of reading it, my mind went 'Oh how if he was pregnant instead of adopting the child' and this fic was the result. As I failed to describe the dimension clearly here, you can read the comic ;)
> 
> Heavy warning for Rape. Seriously. I didn't write explicit sex scenes, but there were scenes about it.
> 
> Italics were flashbacks/scenes in the past.

Relief washes over him when he was sure that the building he entered was completely empty, that he could make it his temporary place of stay. He dragged himself to the corner of one room that the light didn’t shine on, before he sat down and leaned on the wall, putting his shield on the floor while one hand rested on his bulging stomach.

The baby inside of him stirred, annoyed by its mother’s movement. Steve patted his stomach, humming despite his sore throat, trying to calm down his baby. It had started moving around 67 days ago. He had been here for 141 days. Here, in somewhere he didn’t know exactly where, a wasteland where most of the population were monsters whose instincts were to hunt him once they saw him. They were intelligent beings who despite their appearances, act like humans,  and yet still, they acted like hungry hunters when they saw him.

There were humans, but they were the same as the monsters.

His stomach rumbled, not because of the baby’s movements, but because he was hungry. The last time he managed to find food was that morning and he hadn’t been able to find anything to eat again. He was worried—not for himself, but for the child inside of him. At his state, he couldn’t provide enough nutrition for it, he could barely survive on his own. He was afraid that soon, he would lose the baby. He didn’t want to lose it. This was such a bad time to get pregnant—he didn’t even realize he was pregnant until his omega sense could feel a life growing in him, confirmed by movements that he soon felt and his growing belly.

He wanted to cry. He needed his Alpha—even more now. He wondered if Thor would know that he was going to be a father. He would be so happy.

He was sure that Thor was still searching for him.

 

***

 

_Sometime after Thor pulled out of him, Steve turned his body around so he could face Thor, breathing in Thor’s scent. It was calming and it felt like he was drunk on it. No matter how much he had scented Thor, he kept craving for more. Thor pulled him closer, putting his arm on Steve’s waist._

_“Thor.”_

_“Yes, Steven?” Thor asked, smiling at him as if Steve was the greatest thing in the world. He was happy that Thor still smiled at him like that, even though it had been more than a year since they were mated._

_“You want to have children?” He asked. He had been wondering about that. He himself had always wanted a family and now he wanted to have one with Thor. They only needed to figure out how their family would live since they were from two very different places. But Steve couldn’t care less about that. If he could be with Thor, he could handle anything._

_“Of course, I will always want a child and I also need an heir, no?” Thor answered honestly, “I won’t force you to carry if you’re not ready, though.”_

_Steve smiled._

_“I have been thinking about it, too,” He said, “But I think I want to have one, soon.”_

_“Are you sure?” Thor asked, sounding delighted and confused at the same time. Did he think that Steve wouldn’t want to have children? He should have just asked._

_“Yeah I mean, I can take a break, now, I think The Avengers will manage without me,” Steve explained. That was true, after years of effort The Avengers finally became a fully functional unit and they had more members now, more people who probably could lead better than he was, “And I really have been thinking about it lately. I really want to have your child.”_

_It seemed that Thor didn’t need much convincing._

_“If you say so, then, I will gladly oblige,” Thor agreed, “You ready for another round?”_

 

***

 

He didn’t even remember how he ended up here. The last thing he remembered was that he was fighting some aliens trying to invade New York for the hundredth time—he was in a fight with one when he blacked out and woke up in a desert. He walked for hours before he finally got into a city, where he was chased right away by the monsters that saw him. He was lucky that he managed to get away from them. He was also lucky that he had his shield with him, so he had a weapon to use to fight those monsters.

He was not sure how long it would be before he wouldn’t succeed in running away or fighting his chasers off. He was growing big and it rendered his movements, not to mentions he was growing weaker day by day. He tried hard to keep living on and not give up, though, he had the baby to live for. Even the weather were harsh here, if it wasn’t hot then it rained all the time.

He washed his face—the water system in the building he occupied was surprisingly working. He had been feeling hot, even more than usual. It made him feels thirsty, so he drank the water. He used to be wary to drink or eat anything here, but after a while, he just ate everything he could find. If he didn’t, he would have died of malnourishment.

He walked back to the area he used to sleep, still feeling hot. It was always hot here, even when it rained, but it wasn’t because of that. There were times when he felt hot flashes, but it wasn’t like that too. He got his answer when he suddenly felt slick trickling down his thigh. He cursed. His mind flashing back on to the omega studies he had read, remembering how omegas sometimes went through false heat during pregnancies.

This did feel like a heat. He was fucked if that was true. How was he supposed to conceal his scent? Were there alphas who could smell him?

He hastily retreated to his corner and whimpered. His body felt like it was calling for his alpha, for Thor. He wanted to curl himself into a fetal position, but his stomach got in the way. He stayed that way for a while, his body got hotter and hotter and arousal took his body apart. He felt so needy, he cried as he called out for Thor. It was a pain to go through this an alpha.

He smelt an alpha scent getting nearer, making his body craved it.

He was scared.

 

***

 

Thor hissed as he felt a jolt of pain to his scenting gland, a pain that slowly spread to his whole body.  He touched it, trying it to make it disappear. He felt like he was being called, he could feel that his omega needed him. He had always been in pain for the past few months, nothing too distracting, but this one felt painful. He shuddered at the meaning of this. It meant that something was happening to Steve and that Steve needed him to be there.

And he couldn’t. Not when he didn’t even know where Steve was.

“Thor, you okay?” Natasha asked. She had been with him in the dining room inside his apartment, accompanying him. He didn’t feel like having dinner with others tonight, as his mind kept drifting off to Steve. He just knew that Steve was not that well today, and Thor felt so miserable. Not all mated had an emotional connection, not all of them were soulmates. But Thor and Steve had one. Right now, it was both a blessing and a curse.

“I can feel him,” Thor told her, putting down his fork, “He is in dire need of me.”

It had been several months since Steve disappeared without a trace. It was when the city was attacked, and it was not until Steve didn’t show up after the battle ended, they realized he had gone missing. Thor noticed that sometime before the battle ended, Steve had become silent. He regretted not watching over him, he regretted not checking up on his mate even though he should have. Now not even Heimdall knew where Steve where was, he could only sense that Steve was still alive. Whoever took Steve, they were powerful.

It was two days before their wedding ceremony, that Steve was gone.

“We will find him,” Natasha said. She had lost the confidence in that sentence a long time ago, though, “Tony thought he might have leads.”

They were all trying to find him. They had tried to find help from the sorcerers, the spies, everyone. And yet they still couldn’t find him.

“We need to find him,” Thor insisted, “I can feel his suffering, his pain.”

Natasha bit his lip. Thor felt a little bad for feeling like he suffered all by himself. Natasha was affected by Steve’s disappearance, too, all his friends were. It was especially horrible knowing that Steve was alive, just waiting to be found.

“Are you still sure that he is pregnant?”

It was also horrible, knowing that Steve was carrying children all by himself out there. Thor just knew. He could feel the emotional connection not only to Steve but to their children, too, their children who now had a soul inside of them.

“Yes.” He felt a jolt of pain again, making him almost fell down the chair. It was even more painful than the last jolt, it felt as if their bond was tested. He was not sure what this meant—he had never been bonded before, but this one made him felt betrayed, somehow. Like—like Steve had betrayed the bond and be with other alphas.

He hoped that was wrong.

He closed his eyes, bearing through the pain. When he opened his eyes again, Natasha was right by his side, her eyes showing concerns.

“I can’t stand it,” Thor gasped, when the pain started to subside, “I need to go.”

He was angry. Angry about a lot of things. He needed to destroy something.

Natasha nodded and just said, “Go.”

 

***

 

Steve sobbed, his whole body shivered and throbbed in pain. His clothes were shredded from his body, leaving him almost naked. The Alpha finally pulled out of him after the knot went down, and the Alpha’s seeds felt like fire inside of him. This was it—he had betrayed his alpha by letting another alpha knotted him. He felt so dirty, so tainted. The child in his womb trashed around, kicking him relentlessly as if it knew what had happened.

He tried to fight the alpha, he did. But the lack of food, the pregnancy, the heat made him felt so weak. In his normal condition, he could fight even the strongest human alphas. In his current condition, he could only be strong enough to stay alive.

“Since you serviced me so well, I won’t bring you to the lord,” the Alpha said with a laugh, “Maybe I will visit you for another round.”

Steve shook his head at that. No. He didn’t want to. When the alpha entered him, it was a pain he had never felt before. It was a punishment. He had betrayed Thor.

The alpha knelt beside of him, resting his hand on Steve’s mound, sneering, “This, this is certainly interesting.”

No. Not the baby.

The Alpha got up and retrieved his bag, pulling out some things and threw them to Steve. Steve could see fruits and plastic covered bread among them, along with a pair of clothes.

“Eat. Don’t go anywhere if you want to stay alive.”

And then he left, just like that. Steve wondered if he would report where he was to whoever looking for him. That meant he really had to left soon, no matter what the alpha said. It took a while before he stopped feeling like he was engulfed in fire, and when he finally felt better, he got up and dragged himself to the bathroom. He ran the water and tried hard to wash his body despite his aching joints. He wanted to erase all the traces of the alpha inside his body.

After the water ran out, he came back to the room and picked up his uniform, tried to wear it despite it not fitting anymore. He refused to wear the Alpha’s clothes.

God. Thor would hate him if they ever met again.

 

***

 

_Steve looked at the sky on the Avengers compound. It was nice to look at tonight, the stars were bright. He was glad that the compound was quite far away from the city, the sky view was not polluted by lights. Thor had been asking him to go here and Steve did. Though it seemed that he came too early because he saw a setup for a romantic dinner while Thor was not there, yet. He wanted to go back, afraid that he would ruin Thor’s surprise, but Thor was already there when was going to go back._

_“Steven,” Thor greeted him, tense. Steve felt guilty instantly. Thor must have been preparing this for him as a surprise._

_“Hey, Thor,” Steve greeted him back and cringed, “I ruin this.”_

_“Oh, that’s alright,” Thor said, approaching him. He was wearing casual clothes, so hopefully this was not that important, “I guess, I should do it right away.”_

_Steve frowned, “Do what?”_

_“I heard this is something you Midgardians do, here,” he said as he pulled out something from his pocket and then suddenly, he kneeled in front of Steve and opened the red box he pulled out, revealing a silver ring, “Steven Rogers, would you like to be my beloved forever?”_

_Steve gaped, not expecting something like this, not when they were already mated. This was so cliché, but at the same time, Steve realized that no matter how much he had seen this in movies, having this happening to him for real felt surreal._

_“Yes. Of course, yes.”_

_Thor smiled widely as he stood up again and took Steve’s hand to put on the ring. Feeling impatient, Steve hugged Thor right away after the ring was settled on his finger, and then letting him go just to pull him into a kiss._

_“Who told you about this?” Steve asked in between kisses, “I thought we are basically married, now?”_

_“Bucky did. He said it was unwise to mate you without making it official here.”_

_Of course. Bucky had replaced Steve’s parents as someone who had to make sure Steve’s partner did him right. It was kind of funny sometimes watching him pestering Thor._

_Steve kissed him again and then muttered, “God, I love him.”_

_“Should I be jealous?” Thor asked with a chuckle. There was no heat in his question._

_“No, of course not. I love you,”_

_“I love you, too.”_

_Steve kissed him again, only stopping when he felt a little aroused. That was for later. Tonight, they should have dinner first._

_“You know you should have proposed after the dinner, right?” Steve wondered._

_“Oh, Bucky didn’t mention that.”_

_Steve just laughed and led him to the table._

 

***

 

All Steve could see was a desert. He kept walking, trying to find a shelter. He felt a great urge to nest, especially since it seemed that he was at the last leg of his pregnancy, judging at how big his stomach was. The baby’s movements made him felt like that, too. The weather was so dry, and it was so hot, but he kept walking, hand still carrying his shield—his shield that he could barely aim right now—and his sparse clothes while cradling his stomach. He ended up wearing the clothes he was given because the uniform was too hot. The shirt couldn’t even cover his stomach right, but he didn’t care. He was so thirsty and hungry, though, he felt like he was going to pass out soon. But he needed to keep going.

No matter how many times he moved, the alpha who raped him still managed to find him. When Steve ran away, he chased him until he managed to tackle him and made him unable to move, made him unable to fight them. Sometimes, he brought friends. Some of them were humans, some were not. Steve thought that they were playing a game with him. It had been more than thirty days since he was first violated.

They always gave him clothes and foods when they left him as if they were rewards after treating him so harshly. He was afraid his baby died because of it. He almost cried every time the baby moved first after they left. He didn't want to be grateful for the food even though he managed to live on because of these. He felt like an unwilling prostitute, paid for his service.

“Aw fuck,” he said, when he heard familiar engines revving from afar, recognizing them as the cards the alpha drove around with his friends. They found him again, even in the middle of a dessert.

It didn’t take long before he was surrounded by several cars, all circling him so he could run anywhere. The alpha stepped down out of his car, looking satisfied at his success at tracking down Steve.

“Where are you going, Boy? You are too swollen to run away from us.”

Steve put on a fighting stance, his shield covering his body, especially his stomach.  He looked left and right, seeing the others getting out the cars and stepped closer to him. He felt dread in his stomach,

“You should stay down if you want to be alive,” the Alpha said, “It will be easier for you—”

“Not today,” Steve said, throwing his shield to several targets, hitting them. The shield didn’t come back, though, his calculation had been off.

The moment the shield hit, several people crowded him and hold on to his body tightly, pulling him to the ground. Their leader pulled his shirt, making their faces close. Anger apparent in his eyes at his attempt to fight back. They should have known that he would always try to fight back.

“You shouldn’t have fought back, it’s dangerous, you know?” He said while several men forced his legs open, “Hold him, Boys.”

Steve struggled hard and managed to land a kick to the alpha’s stomach. At the same time, someone slapped his face so hard, it stung.

 “Bastard!” the alpha growled, “We are going to be gentle with you, but you don’t give us a choice.”

Their hold on him tightened and Steve forced his mind to be somewhere else after that, trying to bear the pain in his core.

 

***

 

Thor hugged the pillow tightly, bearing through another pain. He had been feeling those much more, lately, and there were times where it was unbearable. Asgard physicians had remedies for soulmates related pains, but he hadn’t been back since a long time ago. He didn’t want to go back before his mate was found. He wanted to be there when Steve was found.

“Thor, are you okay?” someone asked him, for the thousandth time since Steve disappeared.

“No, it’s painful,” Thor grunted. He was not sure if he wanted the pain to disappear, because at least it let him know of Steve’s condition. At least it let him feel his failure as an Alpha.

He couldn’t focus on anything as he bore the pain, but he could hear some people discussing some things.

“I think if we don’t find Steve, we might lose Thor, too.”

 

***

 

Once again, Steve found himself sitting down on a dirty floor, leaning on a moldy wall on an abandoned building. He caressed his stomach, soothing his stomach after a false contraction. At least, what he hoped a false one, not a real one. He had no idea what he had to do if he had to give birth here, all alone. If his baby managed to live, how would he provide for it? He could barely take care of himself.

The bruises from his last encounter with his chasers hadn’t faded even though it had been three days, meaning his healing ability was not as good as usual. Would he even survive the birth?

 “Wait until we are home, alright?” He said to his baby. It was all he had now, the only one he could talk to. And he hadn’t even named the baby, too afraid that he would end up losing it. He wondered if his friends were still looking for him or if they had given up on him.

 

***

 

When an intruder was detected in Avenger’s compound quinjet hangar, all the Avengers there geared up, including Thor, no matter how weak he felt. All of them hurried there, only to see Loki standing there, judging everything around him, seemingly unimpressed. Thor took a lead in front of the others, because if it was Loki, then he should be the one who led the other. Loki didn’t seem hostile, but none of them were sure what he was doing here or how he managed to get here.

“Loki, what are you doing here?” Thor asked. He was really hoping that he wasn’t looking for a fight, Thor was not in the mood.

“Don’t be so hostile,” Loki chuckled, “I am bringing you a gift.”

Thor frowned. Loki’s gift ranged from very terrible to just terrible.

“What gift?”

“I know how to get your omega back,” Loki said. Everyone focused on him right away, alerted at that. Of course, Thor had interrogated Loki before in case he had anything to do with Steve’s disappearance, but he insisted he didn’t. Thor let him go after a while, though he still didn’t trust what Loki said. It was only after Thor was sure of Steve’s pregnancy, that he confronted Loki again, trying to appeal to Loki using Steve’s condition. It was only after Loki said, ‘I would know right away that he is pregnant if I ever saw him. I know that I am a horrible being, but I won’t do anything to a pregnant omega,’ that Thor started to believe him.

“How?” Wanda asked, taking a side beside of Thor. She was one of the few people who were not afraid Loki.

“Well, I am not sure how, but,”  Loki said, and someone suddenly fell from the sky to the ground in front of Loki. Loki poked that person, her body restrained by magical bindings of Loki’s doing, “She is the one who sent your omega away.”

Thor took a step closer and was horrified when he recognized the woman.

“Amora?” he said, “I thought you are dead.”

She was another witch from Asgard, someone who was strangely obsessed with Thor and had done some things to bind Thor to her. Thor thought he killed her.

“I don’t die that easy,” Amora said. Looking up at Thor.

“Where is Steven?”

“You know that I won’t tell you that easily, aren’t you?” Amora said and then yelped when the rope binding her tightened, bruising her skin. Thor looked at Loki and was surprised to see that Loki looked enraged. He had no idea why Loki would be angry.

“He is not the only one who is searching for him,” Natasha suddenly appeared, crouching in front of Amora, fearless, “Tell us where he is.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Amora smirked, “He is in the hands of someone very capable to make him suffer.”

 

***

 

Steve was awakened by a cold feeling on his stomach and he realized right away that he was not in the place he last fell asleep on. For starter, he was lying down on something soft. And then, the smell—it didn’t stink like his last nesting place. It smelled clean, like a hospital—

—at that, he opened his eyes wide, trashing around. He felt panic rising in his chest when he realized that he was fully naked and restrained. Someone with a white coat was beside him and he realized that the cold feeling was the gel that person used to do an ultrasound.

“Hello, Sunshine,” the Doctor, a male who seemed to be in his thirties, greeted him. He didn’t recognize him, for a moment he was hoping that he was at the Avengers Compound’s medical room, but everything looked wrong.

“Where am I?” He said, almost choked at his compromising position. His legs were apart, restrained to stirrups. He couldn’t even try to cover himself.

“You are at the lord’s castle,” the Doctor said,  “It was time for you to be here. The game is over, Captain.”

He knew that people were looking for him and for a while even though he was easily found, he was let go after they did whatever they wanted. He was right, then. They were playing a game with him, whoever searching for him wanted to see him suffer out there.

“Why, why are you looking for me?” Steve asked, trying to sound brave while the Doctor mindlessly kept notes of the things he noticed from the ultrasound. He felt like he couldn’t breathe right—it had been sometimes since he was laying down on his back, his stomach too heavy for that.

“Well, first we want to study you, get revenge, experiment on you…we have so many things planned.”

“Revenge?”

Someone stepped in, as if waiting for this moment, and approached Steve. Steve saw red skin by his side, bending down to look at Steve in the eyes.

“Long time no see, Captain,” Red Skull greeted him, looking happy at how surprised Steve looked, “It seems that you have been doing well.”

“Schmidt,” Steve choked down the name, “What the hell are you doing here?”

He had never thought that he would ever see him again. He was supposed to be dead. Steve saw him disappeared. Is this the place Schmidt disappeared to?

“You sent me here, Captain,” Red Skull, answered, moving his fingers, tracing Steve’s body, “It had been rough, but I have managed to conquer this world. And now I got you.”

So, was all this Schmidt’s doing? How he ended up here? Did Schmidt even have the power to send Steve here? He had so many questions. But he was most afraid of what Schmidt would do to him, now that he had him here.

“You should have died.”

“Fortunately, not. Doctor, tell me the result of your examination.”

Schmidt stopped looking at him and turned to the doctor, his hand still touching Steve’s stomach, feeling the baby moved under his hands. Steve wanted to swat that hand away. Thor hadn’t even felt the baby but the others did that first. Steve hated that.

“The subject is carrying two children, both are males and healthy, both weighted around 5 pounds,” the Doctor said, sounding a little amazed. Steve was alarmed to hear that he had been carrying two babies and didn’t even realize that, but he was relieved a little when he heard that they were healthy, “He has been carrying for around seven months, considering the parents, that might be underweight for twins.”

First he didn't even realize he was pregnant, now he didn't even realize that he was carrying two. No wonder his gut felt so heavy, but now he had two children he had to save.

“Two children of a super soldier and an Asgardian,” Schmidt said in wonder and Steve realized that he should have held himself back from shouting out Thor’s name for help when he was assaulted, “I wonder what power these children can possess?”

How did Schmidt even know about Asgard?

“Fuck off,” Steve hissed.

“I don’t think you’re at the position to order me around, Captain,” Schmidt said and pushed down on Steve’s stomach, threatening him, “Unless you want me to rip the children from you.”

“Don’t touch them.”

This was bad. Schmidt couldn’t have his children. No. The Doctor stopped doing an ultrasound and now swapping on Steve’s hand for something.

“Don’t worry, I have a much nicer method to expel the children from you,” Schmidt said, finally stopped touching him as he ordered, “Administer the drug.”

The Doctor hung something that looked like an IV bag in the pole beside of Steve’s bed, before pricking him with the needle. Steve couldn’t even fight him off.

“What is the hell is that?”

“Labor inducer, among other things,” The Doctor answered, “You might feel contractions soon. “

“It will take 2 or 3 days before you are all ready,” Red Skull sneered, “We will have some fun while we are waiting."


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve was finally rescued and both he and Thor had to deal with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to focus on the aftermath of Steve's time in Dimension Z, so I skipped over the whole rescuing time. And even then it was still longer than I expected. Hopefully the next chapter would be the last.
> 
> Warning for explicit scenes and self blame.

Thor watched over Steve, who was still sleeping in the hospital bed and hasn’t even opened his eyes since Thor rescued him. He was holding his hand, has been since minutes ago. Steve’s hand used to fit Thor’s hand well, strong and warm. But now it felt like if he would break Steve’s hand if he squeezed a little harder. Months of almost starvation showed in Steve’s figure—he had lost a lot of weight in other areas other than his stomach, which was swelling with their kids. He was all bones and skins and it hurt Thor to see his mate like this. 

The healers said that it was a miracle that he managed to stay alive this long. Because of his metabolism, Steve was prone to starvation more than normal people—Thor had always thought that was a flaw of the serum in Steve’s body. It was also a miracle that their sons were as healthy as they were. They were mostly concerned with Steve’s health, the pregnancy and his time in the other dimension had battered it. But, Thor was mostly relieved that they managed to get Steve back. At least, from now on, he could help Steve with his recovery instead of being helpless like he had been for the last few months. 

When he got bored, he let go of Steve’s hand and started reading again—a book on parenting that he had bought a few weeks ago despite him not even knowing whether he would see his children or not. He was determined to be a good parent and it was good for him to practice his reading. 

A few hours after lunch, Steve finally stirred, showing signs that he was waking up. Thor put down his book and pulled his chair closer to Steve’s bed. He waited until Steve’s eyes started to flutter open. Steve blinked a few times before his eyes opened wide and he started to sit up in alarm, almost yanking the IV pole with him, head turned to check his surrounding, panic clouded his face. 

Thor held his hand again and said, “Steven.” 

Steve turned to him and recognition finally started to dawn on him, though he looked like he was in disbelief. 

“Thor?” he said, voice raspy from lack of use, “Are you—are you real?” 

“Yes,” Thor answered while retrieving the glass of water on a table and then bringing them to Steve, pointing the straw to his mouth. 

“This—not a dream?” he asked again, before he flinched and finally took a sip of the water, he swallowed and asked again, still looking like he was in a daze, “Am I back? This—this is the compound, right?” 

“Yes, we finally found you,” Thor said. He was happy that he finally heard his omega’s voice again, he was unable to hold back tears, “I am sorry for being so late.” 

“Our babies—” Steve started to say, looking down and touched his stomach, relief washed over him when he realized that it was still the same shape as the last time he saw it, meaning his children were still safe inside of him. Thor pressed himself to the bed and pulled Steve close to him, cradling Steve’s head to his chest. 

“Safe. You are all safe now.” 

“Thor, Thor,” Steve’s hand held on to Thor’s t-shirt and clutched it as tears started to drop from his eyes, maybe because of relief, maybe because of all the things he had gone through, “I thought I will be there forever, I thought—I thought I am going to lose them. Lose you.” 

Thor kissed Steve’s head. It had been a long time since he did that. He was so relieved that he finally could touch Steve again. He knew that there would be a long recovery ahead of them. Thor knew that Steve wasn’t just lost, wasn’t just starved. He even saw it happened when he went to save Steve. Steve had been violated repeatedly and those kinds of violations would never be easy to forget. But at least, Thor could help now. At least, he wouldn’t be as useless as he was. 

“No, I wouldn’t never give up searching for you.” 

Steve suddenly pulled away from him and it hurt that the relief on his face was now replaced by fear, by guilt. They both remembered at the same time. 

“I—I am sorry,” Steve said, he was still crying and his eyes avoided looking at Thor, “I betrayed you.” 

“No, you didn’t,” Thor said. He meant it. He was pained to know that his omega had been touched by other alphas, but he knew that Steve was also agonized by it, even more than Thor.  He knew that Steve was not a willing participant. His alpha side was angry, at first. But he controlled that, he had learned not to let his alpha instincts easily took over him. 

“I let them touch me, I—” 

Steve started to hyperventilate, as he started to struggle to breathe. Thor quickly pressed the buttons to call the nurses, as he should have when Steve woke up. And then he held Steve’s hand again, as he struggled not to panic. 

“Steven, calm down.” 

“I can’t, I—” 

It was soon before the nurses and doctors entered the room and ushered Thor out of it. 

 

*** 

They sedated Steve and he slept for another day, Thor unmoved from the hospital room unless he needed to eat and went to the bathroom. They put an oxygen cannula on Steve just in case something happened again. Steve was so still when he slept and Thor hoped that he didn’t have any nightmares. He used to have nightmares a lot because of the things that happened in his life, they were gone when he finally settled in this life. Thor would hate to see Steve suffering from nightmares again but he knew that Steve would probably have them again. Hell, even now, when Steve was back, Thor had nightmares, too. 

Steve finally woke up again in the morning and this time, Thor called the nurses first to check on Steve, trying to avoid what happened last night. Even when he just woke up, Steve was much calmer this time and answered the questions directed towards him. The nurses checked everything and then left. Steve didn’t say anything first, and Thor was at loss on what to say. Instead, Thor just held Steve’s hand again.  

Steve squeezed back and closed his eyes. At first, Thor thought he was going back to sleep, but then he started to speak. 

“So, that is not a dream,” Steve said after he finally stopped feeling so groggy. He looked around again once more, making sure that he was really in the compound. He tried to calm down and thought of only positive things. He was relieved that he was finally out of that hell, that he was finally back to his sense, “I am really back.” 

“Yes,” Thor confirmed. Steve wanted to get up and hug him, wanted to smell him. But he still felt so weak, so he focused on the feeling of Thor’s hand in his hand. 

“The Red Skull?” Steve asked again, trying to calm down even when his last memories of being in The Red Skull’s lair started to drown him again. Trying to calm down even when he realized again that Thor saw everything. 

“We killed everyone there,” Thor said. His jaw clenched and for Steve, it felt like a confirmation that Thor knew, “They deserved it.” 

Steve passed out not long after Thor arrived, he was not sure why when he had managed to stay awake for the two days he was there to fight off anything these people tried to do to him, even though it was futile. He remembered though, that Schmidt was fucking him when Thor and the others showed up. 

God. His members saw it happened, too. 

“What exactly happened to me?” Steve said. He was grateful that the cannula was there because he was sure that without it he would have a harder time breathing. He focused on his question, first, on what he had been wondering about, “We were fighting in New York and suddenly I woke up there,” 

Thor bit his lip. He was not looking forward to Steve knowing that it was partially his fault that Steve had suffered, but Steve had to know. 

“It’s a new dimension, we are not sure how it was created but it was concealed by powerful magic. There were people sent there, Dr. Strange knew more about it, perhaps he could tell you later,” Thor explained, his thumb brushing Steve’s knuckle, “The one who sent you there was Amora, using an infinity stone. She had been there and had conspired with the Red Skull.” 

Steve knew about Amora. Before they mated, they thought it was important for both of them to know everything about their lives, even their past, good or bad. 

“Why?” 

“She wanted revenge on me by stealing the most important person to me.” 

“And Red Skull wanted revenge on me,” Steve nodded. Almost everything made sense now, sort of, “How did you find me?” 

“Loki found Amora and he brought her to us. He was the one who found out that Amora was the one who cast the spell to send you to that dimension. We interrogated her, but she wouldn’t say anything. But Wanda, Dr. Strange, and Loki worked together to extract information for her and worked on spells to open the gate to that dimension.” 

Steve nodded. He made a mental note to thank them all. Though he was confused on why Loki was suddenly helping them. 

That was an issue for later. 

The smell of the hospital was suddenly suffocating him, even though the bed he was lying in was more comfortable than normal hospital beds. He wanted to lie down on his own bed, basking on Thor’s scent, “Can I go back to our room?” 

“The Doctors want you to stay here for observation until they are sure you will be okay,” Thor told him. He didn’t say it, but Steve could sense that he was not too keen on letting Steve out of here so soon, “After that, you can rest in our chamber.” 

“Okay,” Steve agreed, not wanting to put up a fight. He was so tired, “Okay.” 

Thor was relieved to hear that. He was sure that Steve needed more time to recuperate here, under careful observations of capable healers. He felt so protective of him, his Alpha instinct wanted to lock up Steve so no harm would come. The doctors said that it might take some time for Steve’s body to recover from the long term starvation, even with the serum. His pregnancy hindered Steve’s body to recover faster because its main objective was to make sure the children were healthy, not to mention the other complications that came with pregnancy. 

They did suggest one thing that might make Steve recover faster. 

“Steven, would you like to give birth to the children soon?” he asked, after pondering about it. 

“Huh?” 

“The doctor said they were healthy and old enough to be born,” Thor explained, “They could do surgery, they said that might be better for you.” 

Steve shook his head right away and Thor frowned. He thought that Steve would at least think about it.  

“No.” 

“No?” 

“They are too young,” Steve said, hand moving to his stomach, “I need to right by them. They will come out when it is time to.” 

He needed to do right by his children now when he was finally this further along. He had been pregnant before, twice after the serum, and miscarriage because he didn’t realize he was pregnant. His body never showed the usual signs of pregnancy—no morning sickness or weird cravings, only a little fatigue that was as normal as after battle fatigue. At least this pregnancy was planned, even though it was sooner than they planned, unlike the two before. He felt like he would fail his children again if they had to come out when they were not ready. 

“Are you sure?” Thor asked. 

“Yes,” Steve said, but then he remembered that Thor was his alpha and he should give his opinion, too, “Please?” 

“Of course, you are the one carrying them,” Thor said, kissing Steve’s hand, “It’s your decision.” 

“Thank you.” 

 

*** 

 

_Steve held back his scream as the contraction hit him again, now coming closer next to each other. His body shook, but not only because of the contraction, but also because of Schmidt’s movements. His legs were still tied tightly to the stirrups, his arms were still locked, and he couldn’t do anything as Schmidt rocked back and forth inside of his opening._

_“I wonder what your mate would think if he saw you like this?” Schmidt sneered, “Screwed by your enemies.”_

_Steve refused to say anything. His whole body hurt. His hole hurt a lot, Schmidt didn’t even prepare him._

_“If only I knew you are an omega, I would claim you first,” Schmidt continued, “We could create so many soldiers for me. You will always be full of children.”_

_Steve would rip out his own womb if he had to carry the monster’s pups._

_“After this, you will carry my children,” Schmidt declared before he smacked Steve’s stomach hard enough that Steve couldn’t hold back his scream, “I will send these children to your mate, your team, and told them that you had let other alphas screwed you. Maybe they would be so disgusted by you they would let me have you.”_

Steve woke up and his eyes saw Thor’s sleeping face beside of him, anchoring him to the reality. He had come back to his apartment in the compound for a week and had started to feel stronger. But the nightmares kept hammering him every night—and they were not even nightmares, they were memories. He had to relieve being raped every night. He was lucky today he didn’t scream—he didn’t wake Thor up because of his dream. 

On the previous days, he couldn’t help but scream, and Thor had to wake him up. It was tiring. He didn’t want to disturb Thor’s sleep, but he couldn’t help it. 

And he didn’t understand why Thor still treated him so well. He hovered over Steve, making sure he ate well, making sure that he was safe. He was still as touchy with him as before. He was always concerned. He was never angry, he didn’t even look disgusted at Steve even though he saw it himself that Steve had betrayed him. 

It bugged Steve that Thor was not angry or disturbed. Maybe, he should be relieved. But he couldn’t. He felt so guilty, he would rather have Thor be angry with him. He wanted Thor to punish him for his misdeeds. Sometimes he was convinced that Thor was waiting until the babies were born, not wanting to hurt them. He knew that Thor was not that kind of person, he knew that Thor was just that nice, but that thought had occurred to him. 

And he wanted that. He really wanted Thor to punish him, so at least he wouldn’t feel so guilty. 

He turned and started to get up—even when he was stronger, that was quite tedious because of his pregnant belly. He sat on the edge of the bed and lift up his pajama, checking his stomach. There were no bruised—Schmidt had smacked his stomach repeatedly, hard enough to leave bruises. Schmidt enjoyed that—adding to Steve’s pain. He also remembered of Schmidt’s taunts. Schmidt loved threatening to impregnate Steve with his own children or with letting the monsters roaming in his kingdom breed him. But sometimes he also threatened to shut Steve’s womb forever, making him unable to give birth, letting his children grew inside of his womb until Steve burst. 

Those were only words. He did something else. 

Steve stood up and walking towards the bathroom, closed the door and pulled down his trouser before sitting on the toilet, leaning back. His hole was slick and his cock was hard. Every night, when he dreamed of being raped, his body was aroused. That never happened before he was caught by Schmidt. Before, even though he had a nightmare, he was never aroused because those were horrible memories. He didn’t know what Schmidt did to him to make him like this. 

Thor knew. He knew that Steve was aroused after every nightmare, he could smell it. But he didn’t say anything. He offered to help, but Steve refused, choosing to let his body calm down though it was not comfortable. Though that meant he was unable to fall asleep again until morning. He couldn’t let Thor take care of him like that when he was aroused by the memories of betraying Thor. 

Today, though, he touched himself. He had been slept deprived and he wanted to go back to sleep. He stroked his own cock while soothing his stomach, the babies moving again. Slick gushed from his hole as he imagined Thor pounding into him. His hole felt so empty, but he tried to imagine Thor filling him, imagine Thor whispering the words he said to Steve during their first heat together. 

It took a long time. His hole clenched and unclenched at nothing and he desperately wanted to finger himself, but he couldn’t get into the right position. He thought he wouldn’t be able to come without something entering him, but his body finally gave him mercy and after a while, come finally spurted from his cock and he cried. He slumped in the toilet, knowing well that he was a mess. He felt even more guilty. It was the dreams of other people fucking him that made his body aroused, and yet he used Thor to get off.  

 

*** 

 

Steve eyed Thor who was moving around in the kitchen trying to cook dinner for both of them. Apparently, during the time Steve was away, Thor learned to cook so had something to focus on other than searching for Steve. He was eager to cook for Steve, now that Steve could finally handle eating more food than bland food. 

Steve went to therapy today, it was his second visit after he came back from what The Avengers now called Dimension Z. He visited his old therapist, she had helped him in the past with his PTSD, so now he chose to go to her again. He knew that he needed to go, he had experienced how it felt when he let his trauma left untreated, so he chose to go to one he was already comfortable with. First, they caught up with each other first—they didn’t really talk about what happened. And today, they talked about it, though not in detail. He told her about his guilt towards Thor and how he was uncomfortable that Thor was never angry about it. She told him to talk to Thor about it, about what he felt. 

Thor was serving Spaghetti Carbonara, Steve’s favorite, so Steve chose to eat first. They ate in silence until Steve finally felt full and stopped eating. He waited until Thor finished eating before he finally started to speak. 

“Can I tell you?” Steve asked, “About what I went through?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

Maybe, Thor was not angry because he didn’t know the extent of Steve’s betrayal. 

“I woke up in a desert and was greeted by several creatures—they seemed like a mutant,” Steve started to tell him, “I thought they were going to eat me so I fought them and managed to run away.” 

Steve took a drink. Thor, who had been sitting across of him, now moved to sit by his side. 

“I didn’t know where to go, so I just wandered around. Every time I keep meeting others, though, they kept attacking me and chasing me, so I learned to run away. It was always hot there, there were rains but it was still hot. Food was hard to come by, sometimes I was lucky when I found leftovers, sometimes I stole them,” Steve sighed, “I didn’t even realize I am pregnant, it was only when my stomach kept getting bigger when I didn’t even eat much, and then I felt the connections to the babies. Do you feel it, too?” 

Thor touched Steve’s hand that was resting on top of his stomach and said, “Yes, Steven.” 

“It was weird, though, I thought I am only carrying one, but turned out there were two,” Steve chuckled, “Sometimes, I was afraid that they were parasites instead of our babies.” 

“I assure you, they are our children,” Thor said, kissing his cheek. This felt so normal. 

“I know,” Steve said, smiling sadly, “Anyway, yeah so I tried to live on because of our babies. I—I tried my best to keep them alive. It was alright for several months, I was lucky I managed to find shelters and places to hide.” 

And now it was the hard part. 

“One day, I—my body went through a false heat and an alpha came,” Steve didn’t even realize that he had started crying again until the tears fell down and wet his cheeks, “He—he knotted me. I tried to fight him but he kept hitting me and I was not strong enough, I am sorry, I am sorry. It was painful. It must be painful for you too.” 

“No, it’s okay, you were powerless.” 

Thor was pulling him into a hug, but Steve pulled away. He didn’t deserve a hug. 

“That was not the last time. After that, it became a game. I would keep running away, and they would catch me. When they caught me, they…they raped me. Not only the alpha. There were others, too, some of them weren’t—weren’t humans. And then there was Schmidt.” 

Sometimes he thought he still felt their seed inside of him and it made him wanted to destroy his own body. He hated it. Thor had to hate him too. 

“I wanted to die,” Steve concluded, “Do you hate me? You must have hated me.” 

But Thor didn’t look angry. He just looked...sad. Concerned. He was definitely unhappy, but it didn’t look like it was towards Steve. Thor brushed off the tears in Steve’s eyes. 

“I don’t hate you, Steven. What happened to you were not your fault.” 

“I am sorry,” Steve said, head down. He didn’t dare to look at Thor more, “Are we—we are still mated, right?” 

That was one of the things Steve was concerned about. He was afraid that his bond with Thor would be broken since he had sex with other alphas. He didn’t really understand the concept of bonds—bonds were Asgardian’s thing, nor humans. It was a miracle that Steve and Thor were bonded and were soul mates. 

“Yes.” 

“I am—am even more broken, now,” Steve said, “I am a broken omega.” 

“You are hurt, you are violated, but you are not broken,” Thor pulled him into a hug again and this time Steve didn’t fight him, “You will always be my mate.” 

 

*** 

 

Steve’s nightmares had lessened and Thor was relieved for that. He didn’t have nightmares every night now and Thor had hoped that meant that Steve’s guilt would lessen about it. He knew about it, he knew that Steve wished that Thor hated him, that Thor was angry at him. Thor couldn’t do that. He was angry, but not towards Steve, not because he thought Steve had betrayed him. He was angry at Amora, at Red Skull, at all of those who had made Steve suffered. 

He hoped that Steve would be normal again around him. He used to be a headstrong omega, but he had become meeker. Other people didn’t notice because he tried to act the same around them, but Thor felt the difference. Steve had second-guessed a lot of his decisions and had asked Thor for confirmation that he agreed with his decision. That included the decision not to have their children born early. He also had repeated ask Thor to punish him, even though what happened to him was not his fault at all. 

So, Thor almost thought that Steve’s guild had lessened, until one night Steve started to beg him to punish him again. 

“You have to punish me,” Steve begged, “Please, you have to.” 

“I don’t want to punish you, Steven,” Thor said, again. They had this conversation before and it wouldn’t stop until Steve’s guilt disappeared. 

“Please, please. I betrayed you. You have to be angry!” Steve said, before covering his face with his hand.

“But I am not angry,” Thor said, kneeling in front of Steve and touching his knees, looking up to Steve, “I told you that you aren’t at fault.” 

“I am dirty, Thor,” Steve said quietly, “No matter how many times I cleaned myself, I still feel so dirty.” 

Steve had started to take long baths right after he was allowed to take a bath on his own. Sometimes, he was there for almost an hour, making Thor worried. He didn’t want to take away Steve’s independence, though, even though he always felt an urge to help Steve with everything, making sure Steve was safe. 

“You have to punish me, please,” Steve continued to beg, “I don’t think I can live if you don’t.” 

“Steven…” 

“I betrayed you. I let them touch me. I should have fought harder. I—I was too weak.” 

“You have fought enough.” Thor said, “I have failed to protect you. I should be punished, too. And it was my fault you became entangled in this mess.” 

Steve hated it when Thor blamed himself, he should know that the reverse was true. That finally made Steve uncovered his face again to look at Thor. 

“No, you can’t control the witch,” Steve said. 

Thor smiled. He stood up. This conversation would go nowhere, he knew. So, he went up to the bed and pulled Steve to lay down with him. He spooned Steve, one hand went over Steve’s waist to touch Steve’s stomach. He put his face on the crook of Steve’s neck to breathe in his scent. Steve relaxed in his embrace. He was distracting Steve from his woes and it was probably not a good solution to their conversation, but Thor was at lost on what to do. 

“So, do you have names ready for our babies?” Thor asked. Steve didn’t answer, was still confused by the sudden shift of conversation. He hoped that Steve would not redirect their conversation back to the previous topic. 

“I do,” Steve answered, probably just realized that they hadn’t even named their children, “I want to name one of them Ian. Ian Buchanan Thorsson.” 

“That seemed like a mighty name. Buchanan was Bucky middle name, yes?” Thor said.  _Thorsson_ , he liked the sound of that. Despite their current situation, he was still happy that he was finally going to be a father. 

“Yes.” 

“How about the other one?” 

“I was going to let you named him,” Steve shrugged, “To be fair.” 

“I was thinking of Erik,” Thor told him, “But I am liking the name ‘Halstein’ lately.” 

“Then Halstein Thorsson?” 

“Rogers,” Thor clarified. Even though he liked the sound of  _Thorsson_ , he thought that they should carry Steve’s family name instead of his. He barely did anything other than providing the seed, Steve was the one who had to carry the children in his body. Steve was the one who had to suffer. 

Steve frowned, “You are the father.” 

“Thorsson-Rogers, then?” 

“That’s a mouthful.” 

“You are the one carrying them, it’s unfair if they only carry my name.” 

For a moment, talking about the babies’ names made their life felt normal again. But Thor had decided that he needed to ask someone else for advice about Steve, he couldn’t let Steve felt guilty forever. 

 


End file.
